Rules are made to help, not to hinder
A holiday hat, if worn, must be bought at the holiday destination. It cannot be bought prior to travel. EVEN if bought on a previous holiday!…
We will visit / stay in a place that is virtually unpronounceable
Jelly MUST be eaten whenever possible/available. It CANNOT be refused
You must remove your watch whenever you do or say something stoopid. The theory being that if you are indeed that stoopid then you would obviously not need a watch as you probably are unable to tell the time anyway.
Go-Karting must be done (same rules as apply for jelly – except you’re not to eat them – you just have to do this if it is available).
When approaching a restaurant for an evening meal the initial request /greeting should be “Romantic table for 9/10/11*?” (*delete as applicable)
Do not eat in any Chinese Restaurant……
… Past experiences resulted in the theory – it’s best not to risk it!!!!
When in a restaurant:
If mushrooms are ordered: Someone must tell the mushroom joke.
If in an Indian restaurant: Glenn must tell the poppadum joke.
In all restaurants: John must tell the “What’s green and a stick?” (!!) joke – YES – that’s the way he tells it!!!
Breakfast must consist of Ham & cheese toasties (except for Sarah who can’t have cheese and Cuss who is allowed chips as well).
Everywhere is up the road second on the left (especially if it isn’t!).
Glenn must acquire at least one new nickname per holiday (more are allowed but never less).
We must have at least one trip to the old falling down stuff.
In Cyprus coffee and M-150 are compulsory for everyone at least once per holiday.
If in Crete Heraklion must be said “thecityofheraKLION!”
We have to buy a lighter with a map on! This will be the only form of navigation allowed for the holiday.
You don’t DO decisions on holiday (that was mainly the Jersey contingent).
Don’t forget, we don’t turn left
The holiday does not officially begin until you are on the aircraft and the “bing!” noise comes over the intercom (for those who fly to England before the holiday the “bing” on the first flight counts).
